I had to go to hospital for some tests, recently, and had biopsies taken from some intimate regions.
The hospital was quite far from where I live but I had been there once before, over a decade ago, when I had a different operation done and stayed a few days.
In the consulting doctor’s rooms, I was introduced to a nurse who would help me for the day. An older woman, like myself, she took one look at me and said, “hello, I know you”.
I said, “well, that would have been a very long time ago, since the last time I was here was over ten years ago”.
She said, “yes, I have been here that long, sadly”.
I replied, “why sad? You’re lucky to have had a job that long, these days”.
And she passed a comment to the doctor, saying, “there it is”, as if that remark framed me.
As the minor operation I was having continued on, I did my usual camaraderie, making jokes and talking through the small ordeal and pain – and the nurse made a few more comments, saying “and now it escalates…” With a smile, so I felt that she knew and approved of me.
It was an odd thing, to see such recognition in someone who was a relative stranger. I realized that something in me or something about me had resonated with her all those years ago, and she never forgot.
I thought of how I go through my life a lot of the time feeling that no one really notices me, and that I could be easily forgotten if I just disappeared. And yet, if I am honest, there have been other moments like this, where people who have seen me extremely rarely, have yet remembered me.
I think it does take something extraordinary to happen for someone to embed a memory like that, even if it is in small moments. And that thought gave me a refreshing view of myself that I really needed right now.
In life, we often move through the small moments feeling like nothing much is happening. It is easy to think that there is some kind of dearth because events are mundane and not exciting, or slow and not seeming to make much progress.
You can easily forget the blessings that really do surround you or that fill your life and heart so well, because you are concentrating so hard on what you feel is missing.
In yearning for what you don’t have or can’t get, you can far too easily take for granted what you do have.
Even before this extraordinary minor event happened to me, I had begun to realize just how much I was not paying enough respect in my life, to my surroundings, to the people standing by and with me, to the pets that fill my heart, to the projects that delight me even while they are hard work, and to the kudos I earned in the past that I have shelved because they were in the past.
I had already begun to make a more concentrated effort to remember my past achievements and to give myself the kudos I deserve, again, and to honor more clearly the real blessings that fill my heart and environment.
It is just so easy to forget when you are concentrating on getting things or getting somewhere or someone.
Fact is, when you do that, you are not actually activating any law of attraction. When you pray for such things, you are actually activating a law of dearth, because the aura given off by such prayers is one of lack.
So I have seriously been making an effort to remember how well blessed I am. I know that there are people or things missing in my life, and goals I have not yet achieved, but the truth is that I am very well blessed with what I do have.
I am now allowing myself to feel those blessings, and saying out loud how well I am blessed. And then, if I do get anything else I desire, they are just bonuses on top of the blessings I already have.
The change has been remarkable. I have felt more energized than I have felt in a long while, and new small blessings are popping up regularly, as if the cosmos is saying, “now that she appreciates what we have already given to her, we will let her have some more…”
And the nurse’s recognition and appreciation of my jokes and character was just another of those new small blessings. It really made my day.
We are not ever really alone, no matter how much we think we may be. We are not ever really as low as we think we are, because the world truly is a beautiful place, no matter what travails we are going through at the time.
The gift of life is something to be treasured and savored, not passaged through as if time has no end and can be wasted in fruitless yearning.
Life is full of extraordinary ordinary things.