Tag Archives: illness


photo courtesy of www.sunipix.com
photo courtesy of http://www.sunipix.com

Just over a week ago, I took a defrosted piece of roasting meat out of the fridge to cook. (It was in a sealed plastic bag). It slipped off the plate I’d defrosted it on and dropped onto my bare foot.  (I’m often barefoot at home).  I thought nothing of it.  The meat was soft.   It only caused a bit of pain.

Quite soon, the nail on my big toe turned grey-blue.  I knew then that the meat had caused more of an injury than I had realized, but I still thought nothing of it.  I just assumed that the injury would process, that my nail would go black and fall off, and that I would be in pain for a while but all would be well.

I haven’t stayed off my feet since then.  I’ve kept working.  I’ve been going out, and walking around, albeit with shoes on that were comfortable for my sore toe.

I didn’t give myself any healing energy because I thought all would be okay.  Such things are part of the normal processes of life, I told myself.  Accidents happen and we deal with them.  Nature has it’s own healing processes and all we need is time to allow it to do its job.

All hasn’t been okay, though.  My toe has got worse.  It is now twice the size of my other big toe.  The nail is trying to delaminate but is still held firmly in the quick.  I’ve got extreme redness in the flesh of the toe at the base of the nail and it’s developing darker tinges that have me concerned.

I finally decided to give my toe some healing energy last night… I used a piece of black tourmaline to boost the energy and take the poisons/inflammation out.  The tourmaline got so hot I was surprised.  I got a whiff of flesh that was not nice at all.  (Then I really got concerned…)

This morning, I picked up the tourmaline to try again, and the lump of pyrite that has long clung to the outside of the shaft peeled off.  I was so surprised.  It has been well melded to the tourmaline since I first got it.  I thought it was actually embedded in it.  The funny thing is that the pyrite piece now looks like a delaminated big toe nail…

Today, my foot began to feel stiff and achy.  I realized that something much more is going on with my toe than I thought at first.  When I massaged my foot, I found a large swollen area in the underarch.  I thought, the lymphatic system is trying hard to move the bad elements out from the toe to recycle them.

I gave the foot more healing, this time without the tourmaline.  The extreme heat from my hands meant to me that this injury really does need attention (and so I felt a bit foolish because I have pretty much been ignoring it).

My great grandmother died when my Nanna was only 13 years old.  She got septicemia (blood poisoning) because of a scratch she just ignored. (Admittedly, she was a scotswoman living on a pioneer farm in rural Australia, where doctors were a rarity).  It’s not something I really want to be doing to myself, though.  I had to shake my head.

When others need healing, I am always there for them, trying to make things feel better and to speed up the healing process.  When it comes to myself, I am not so assiduous.  I’m not sure why.  It’s not like I don’t have the knowledge, or the tools to help myself, but I tend to take things on as being ‘par for the course.’  I tend to think of illness and injury as being ‘part of life’.  I tend to take on such suffering as a normal process that I have to be philosophical about.   (At least, when it comes to myself).

I probably have very bad habits, therefore, when it comes to my own healing.  My body is assailed by so many disorders (‘par for the course’ with many healers and empaths, since so much is absorbed from surrounding environs), that when a new one comes along, I just ‘pop it in the basket‘ with the others and ‘keep on keeping on’ living.

I don’t like going to the doctor.  Most often, in the past, when I did go, I was told I was already dealing well with the issue, and to keep on doing what I’d been doing.  (I used to be very good at treating my health when it was out of balance and I do keep a well stocked medicine/herbal cabinet, not just for me but for all my family). It was rare that I needed further help, (other than an occasional prescription for antibiotics when all else had failed).  So in the end I just began to think that I should just accept the things that happen, and deal with them.  I told myself that if an emergency came along, then I would go to the doctor.

The trouble with that is that sometimes you’re not sure exactly what is an emergency, and when you start embedding the attitude that illness is ‘par for the course’ in life, you can start forgetting to look after yourself effectively.

In my instance, it gets hard to know if my natural healing energies will bring about the amazing turnarounds that have often happened in the past if I just wait things out, or if I should be getting concerned enough to seek the help of others, now… (Is a whiff of smelly flesh an emergency or will the flesh heal itself given time?)  I don’t like bothering doctors when I can heal myself.  They’re busy helping those who can’t help themselves…

Okay, so this time I think I will go see the doctor, after all – at least to make sure my toe is not gangrenous or causing a blood or lymphatic infection.  Metaphysical healing is not always the answer, and not when I left it this late to do something about the problem. Even metaphysical healing needs time to be efficacious.

Perhaps there is a reason that I have not healed so well this time.  I haven’t seen my doctor for ages and she knows I have lots to ‘keep an eye on’.  Sigh.  The universe is probably just making sure I keep in touch.


Update: It’s the same day, and because it is a public holiday right now, my doctor is not available. I’ll still go to see her tomorrow, just to make sure all is okay, but an interesting thing happened tonight (I wrote the main body of this in the morning). My foot was aching, so I took another look at it. The nail had lifted even more, so I gently pressed on it and tried to ease it out from the quick.  I was able to get a toothpick underneath at the top, and pricked it just enough to make it bleed.  The blood has poured out.  The pain has eased, and my nail is no longer black. (I left the nail alone after it bedded down again and started looking pink). While the toe is still red, all is looking suddenly good!  So I put calendula cream (for the bruising and inflammation) on the skin surrounding it, along with some methyl salicylate (for pain).

As usual, the healing sped things up.  Time still needed to pass, but I can tell you I’m feeling a lot happier now.  I suspect that by the time I get to the doctor, there will be little left to do but wait for Nature to finish the job… (Ah, the human condition gets to us all… I should have known better, since the energy was so blazing hot.  Thank you for your help, dear angels!  I have no doubt that this time I was assisted.  My own energy is not usually that fierce…) 

Lilipily Spirit – Empower Your Life, Connect with the Divine


picture courtesy of freepik.com
picture courtesy of freepik.com

I’m finding it hard to keep up with things right now. I banged my knee a few weeks ago, as I rushed past a low table corner. It seemed okay for a couple of days and then it just got very painful.

There was no swelling, no bruising, just the pain and tenderness. I treated it as well as I could. Wrapped it up for a while to give it some rest. Stayed off it at times when it got too much, (which is hard when you have a lot to do), and have even been using a crutch, on and off.

I was speaking to my aunt on the phone about it dragging on. We’d also been talking earlier about my work and I had told her how I always put some blessing and healing into the products I wrap up for posting. She told me maybe I should give some to myself – but I already had.

That’s something that people don’t often understand about healing. Just like other processes in life, there are limitations to what can be achieved through it. In my case, I was able to give myself ease for a while, and things did seem to be progressing slowly toward recovery, but then I went to a social event, left my crutch behind, and joined in some fun physical activity I should not have engaged in just yet. That set me back to square one.

In my spiritual philosophy, I have come to believe that life in the physical realm is shaped by the code of a divine computer program. I have also come to accept that this means that there are certain limitations caused by inherent laws that have to be accommodated in any scenario.

I believe that one of the laws inherent in the life we lead in these cosmos is that of cellular degeneration. Because of that law, repairs can only ever be temporary. By that I mean that even if you manage to repair a body part and that body part lives on with a healthy status, all life still has an endpoint, so all cells eventually degenerate.

That’s what I believe is the human condition. That’s the way I think things just are on planet Earth.

Even if scientists find a way to prolong the life of cells or to keep regenerating them, I’m doubtful they will ever discover the secret formula that will enable an ‘elixir of life’ that ensures a permanent optimum physical state, just because of this inherent law that I believe is coded into our existence.

I think that law is necessary. Without it, people would never die. If people never died, we’d have a world crisis in no time if we kept on having babies. So I believe the law is in-built to ensure that we are only in bodies for a time. After that, in my belief system, we have to shed the body and return to who we are without one.

(I believe in reincarnation and the nigh immortal life of spirit).

Because of that law being inherent in the coding of life, I believe that other things become apparent. People can get sick. They can become disabled. They can physically suffer. If cells are able to degenerate so we can die, then that weakness also makes us prone and vulnerable under other circumstances.

You may think that the program should have been better designed. Well tell that to the worldly whizzbang tech heads who create the absolute best programs for computers today. They are always doing rewrites, always adjusting glitches, always putting programs onto the market before they are perfect because you really cannot know everything that is going to result from coding, no matter how much you attempt to predict it, until the program is being used.

I believe that God’s mind is no different to that of those worldly geniuses. I actually believe that everything that is manifest reveals something of God’s nature and God’s processes, just as an artwork or a novel reveals an element of the mind or processes of the artist or writer that created it. So, for me,  the way computer programming actually pans out in the world gives me a heads up as to how divine code pans out in the universe.

God thinks a program into being and tries things out. It sees what works and what doesn’t and makes adjustments. That’s why some things become extinct or get wiped out, and why others survive.

(I’m not trying to be cold about that process. Such things can be hard to accept when you’re faced with the tragedies that come with life. I’m just talking about the bottom line of God’s coding, about the way such elements come into being).

Despite using spiritual or metaphysical healing, myself, my understanding of these modes is that (in a way) they are programming ‘cheats’ that enable us to gain ground on the ‘game of life’, to skip levels and pass by the hard yards of effort it usually takes to reach other levels.

In my estimation, that’s not always a good thing, even though our human minds are in-built with a sense of compassion that wants to fix every problem of suffering that assails us or those we love or care about.

Just like in a computer game, by skipping levels we may be missing out on relevant things or bits of education we should be picking up on as we make our way through the ‘game of life’.

Even as I complain about the things that assail me, I do believe that there actually are divine reasons for why we experience suffering, why we experience pain, and why we experience illness.

(Note: Yes, I’m talking about God and the divine, here, but I’m not pushing a faith. I’m just showing how my mind thinks about such things, and how I have found some answers. Call God or the divine whatever you want. For me, they are words that help you understand the concepts I’m trying to get across, concepts you may have difficulty understanding if I didn’t assign such words to them).

I don’t believe that there is some entity in the universe that is out to get us. I don’t believe in good God, bad God or Devil scenarios. What I believe about these apparent flaws in our existence is that we are naturally immortal in our true spirit form, and that our bodies and this environment we live in are only programmed tools that allow us to experience such things as relationship, or even excitement, whether these process as good or bad.

I believe that, as pure spirit, we miss out on the nitty gritty that only comes with physical experience. It’s like theory versus practice. As spirit, we may know something of the way things should work, but we can’t confirm that until we put spirit into a body and actually go through the mechanism of how they work.

For me, our bodies are vehicles that allow our spirit to enter into a highly sensory, extremely superb and intricate virtual reality that we call our world.

In my view, the cosmic programmer therefore doesn’t think about our lives the way we do (when we are in physical form). The cosmic programmer knows that, like when your body goes on a roller coaster ride in this physical realm, (as your true spirit self) you’re going to get off at the end okay.

I was taught to direct my energies in spiritual or metaphysical healing many years ago, now. (You may know what this is by the term, Reiki, which is a popular form of it, though not the style I use). I’ve given plenty of healing to others in my lifetime. Some have been cured. Some only found solace, comfort, or relief. Some felt no effect at all.

When my thirteen year old son was mowed down by a van on a busy road many years ago and ended up in hospital, they didn’t expect he would ever recover from the brain injury and body trauma he suffered. The neurosurgeon told me quite bluntly that he didn’t expect my son to ever be anything but a ‘vegetable.’

I listened but knew I wasn’t going to give up that easily. I went home and got my healing gemstones and essential oils and brought them back to the hospital to begin working all the skills I had been taught. My husband helped me in that endeavor as we gave our son massage and healing therapy twice daily, stinking out the children’s ward with the aromatherapy.

(I believe in a destiny that has some options for choice of direction in it, so I’m not a complete fatalist. I also believe that until you try things out, you don’t really know which way things will go. Intuition and clairvoyance gives you an inkling, but I’ve learnt that prophecy is always nebulous until it establishes in the physical realm as reality. Until that happens, there are always choices that can be made that may divert the way things are going. So while my son was for all intents and purposes a ‘vegetable’ at the time, I intended to give him every possible tool I had available to help him ‘come back’. You just never know…)

The Mater was a Catholic run hospital and many of the nurses were nuns. (I’m a self-styled new age pagan though I was reared as a christian – but I do honor all modes of respecting the divine). Despite our unorthodox methods, they accommodated our efforts. Catholics still believe that God works in mysterious ways and that miracles do happen.

Miracles happened for our son. He did not remain a ‘vegetable’. He did learn to walk, talk, and even eat again over the long course of a year. He did get out of a wheelchair the year after that, (though half his body is still paralyzed), and today he leads a relatively normal life and has been married and has children of his own – but he is still disabled. All our best efforts could not restore him completely.

I believe that there were destined reasons why his body had to be limited. Anyway, that is what I told myself and it may be true, but I also believe that part of the reason it happened is because there really are limitations to what can be achieved in the cosmos we live in, despite our best efforts and desires.

I know that this idea goes against the belief in the ‘power of positive thinking’ and ‘abundance creation’ but it is true to the threads of tantra and vedism that formed part of my metaphysical education. For me, while it’s okay to process magical or divine intervention on our behalf, we also need to be realistic enough to accept the laws that shape our existence and limit our world.

This concept is no different to measuring the limitations of a virtual reality computer game. It may seem to be limitless as you explore its many features but it can actually only be accessed to the degree that the game has been coded into existence.

Programming always has limitations. Even in ‘God’s dream’, the divine concept that creates the programming of our reality is only a thread of thought that measures just so far…

If you want new levels that don’t exist, those new levels have to be thought and programmed into reality, first. They aren’t just ‘there.’

That may be where prayer or magic comes into play. If you appeal to God’s focus, and God thinks your appeal is worthy of attention, then God, the programmer, may invent new lines of coding that will help you out. (Do remember that this depends on whether your appeal is worthy of attention, though – or if your needs don’t clash with God’s concepts and intentions).

When damage is done in our physical realm, I believe that there are also laws in place that measure how quickly something can progress and evolve. Brain cells can actually regenerate, but they are one of the body cells that take an extremely long time to do so. Years, in fact. The miracle of healing is not always fast.

Even spiritual and metaphysical healing that actually gets a result often takes time to evolve that result. You often only realize its measure because the time it takes to be effective is far quicker than what usually happens with healing on pure physical levels.

So, here I am at this time with my body still dealing with the reality of injury. I’m finding that getting tasks done is very limited right now. I’ve given myself some healing, but it’s taking time to get there.

I do have to acknowledge, though, that I’m still getting a lot done that most people would not be able to do under such physical circumstances.

That is my measure for the healing. It is doing it’s work, but I keep extending the time line for complete effect because I keep diverting energy to achieve other things.  You have to be sensible about these things! You have to be aware of how they work.

On the other hand, as I push through the injury and find myself up against it, I am sometimes forced to take time out to rest.

Then I wonder about the cosmic thread of that. Maybe my ‘angels’ are working on my welfare (that I am ignoring as I push through tasks to get them done). Maybe it was time I took a break, but I wasn’t allowing that to happen. Maybe I have been working too hard…

Maybe the universe saw how many television shows I’d been recording so I could catch up them on later – but I had kept myself so busy that I hadn’t caught up on them yet. Forced to put my feet up from time to time, I’ve been catching up on almost all of them. I was running out of room on the hard drive, but now there is space for a whole lot more…



Lilipily Spirit – Empower Your Life, Connect with the Divine