As the new millennium approached, there were many waves of spiritual lore around the world claiming that human beings were about to be transformed into a better state of evolution.
Some prepared for not only end of the world scenarios, but also for an ascension of the human race. This ascension was known as an ascension into Light.
The basis for this belief was in prophecy, both ancient and modern.
Yet, as someone who has received some prophetic messages in my own life, I am well aware that prophecy can be hard to interpret at times.
As well, it is often confined by the presumptions and assumptions of the interpreter.
Prophecies arrive in cosmic language and need to be translated into something human beings understand – but that translation is not always correct or pure, no matter how logical or objective is the interpreter.
Many prophetic dreams I have personally experienced, have manifested in almost the correct form, but with twists and alternate endings.
So while the message or the warning of prophecy should be heeded, the outcome is not set but fluid.
Generational or worldly prophecy on a grand scale is therefore even harder to read.
Such prophecy is definitely confined by its interpretation and translation – and further skewed by later attempts to realign that interpretation or translation, using current thought or opinions.
This struck me clearly, recently, when I was watching a television program about the Dark Web – a story of how the internet came to be and what has happened thereafter.
On one hand, there was the original creator of the internet, talking about his disillusionment with his creation, now.
The internet was created with good intentions, to connect people, to provide freedom of knowledge, and to serve the common good – but today there are dark sections of the internet, just as there are dark sections in our common marketplace, where contraband drugs are sold, pedophilia is rife, and other underground streams of sleeze are thriving.
The creator of the internet provided something beautiful, and set this ‘world‘ in motion. He was the beginning and the activator, but once it was set in motion he had little control over what people did with it. Nor had he any real idea, because of the limitations inherent in his creative enthusiasm, how it could also be used for bad purpose.
For me, though, good and bad are inherent factors in all existence. Light and shade, day and night, right and wrong, are all natural factors that must be kept in balance for optimal harmony and growth.
So, in putting anything into action, no matter how good the intentions, there is always the possibility of things going bad. Balance and harmony are always teetering on a cosmic seesaw, weighing the ‘light‘ and the ‘shade‘.
You could use the story of the creator of the internet as a metaphor for God. So many people cry out when bad things happen, against what they see as God not caring, or God not doing enough to fix problems, or ask how could God create something so malign?
Yet God is simply the creator and the one who puts things in motion. God provides all the elements and puts them together, but after that God has little control over what happens – apart from the right to destroy the whole shebang if it gets too far off course.
Despite popular or written opinion, I believe that God rarely bothers with destroying the whole shebang, simply because of the also inherent factors of time, change and evolution in our linear based existence.
God is immortal and time is non-existent in God’s life, so there is no need to wait things out or to set a time limit for change. There is only an observing of the threads of thought in God’s mind and of the ramifications of those threads that have been set in play.
While God may not fully realize what its thoughts truly set into being, it is our world, as it grows and evolves, that plays out the ramifications of that creation. It is us, in the world, who are the tools of those ramifications.
It is our choices, and the environments we grow in, having sprung from that initial source, that manifest the darker aspects of life – much as the Dark Web sprang from the good purpose of the internet.
We, as elements of the god force, are manifestors of our own ‘reality‘. Or are caught up in the dark elements of the manifestation of someone else’s ‘reality‘. Or are assailed by the traumas of living in a world of life that comes from the ‘reality‘ of a naturally volatile and changeable universe.
This is not God’s doing, so much as the ramifications of what God’s mind set in motion.
In another view, it is said that God sets creation in motion through its Word. The ‘Word of God‘ is said to be the sound of the Om or Aum, in buddhist and vedic literature.
To bring existence into being through sound is an interesting concept. Especially when you apply it to the fact that radio and television are manifested via the frequencies of sound.
Waves of sound frequency carry data information and are transmitted with that information load to be picked up by the receivers of radio and television towers.
Isn’t that interesting?
So sound really can manifest patterns, shapes, and actions. Sound really can manifest stories and pass on knowledge. Sound is more than an element or wave, it is a ‘voice of manifestation‘.
You might say, but this is only a 2 dimensional experience. So, let’s think of God’s power for manifestation as being electrical energy.
In televisions, the patterns received on the back of sound frequency waves are translated and manifested via electricity and electrons. Components in the television translate the patterns from the sound waves and manifest programs and movies, full of life and sound.
Further, once the patterns have been received, they can be interacted with by users of the television or by users of a computer game console.
We can therefore become players in the 2D ‘reality‘ that is manifested.
With virtual reality now establishing 3D experiences, we can also become players in 3D manifestations of ‘reality‘.
Adding sensory experiences to those 3D manifestations, and superbly detailed patterns from excellent programming, how could we distinguish ‘reality‘ from ‘game play‘ when we don’t know how to remove our ‘headsets‘ ?
Think on what happens when you watch a movie or play a computer game. Whilst involved in the experience and invested in it, you are nowhere else. In those moments, the movie or game is a ‘piece of your life‘… It becomes ‘real‘ until the moment your mind detaches from the experience.
Which begs the question – what, exactly, is ‘reality‘?
The electricity of God’s power is our ‘life force‘, also known as Chi energy or kundalini energy in ancient scriptures.
So, God’s word or sound carries knowledge and pattern, which can be translated by ‘life force‘ energy into Creation.
Now think of what human beings are also doing with such patterns and codes, today. We now have 3D printers. We are already printing not only human tissues and organs, but objects such as vehicle parts.
Patterns or codes are information that can be translated – or, in other words, messages.
Electricity is the life force that enables those patterns or codes to become manifest, via the use of tools.
In cosmic terms, the tools are elements that can receive and direct those messages. In our world, those tools are often us.
Which brings me back to the internet and the prophecies of ascendance into Light.
Today, much of the internet is passed around the world via fiber optic cables. Fiber optic cables do not use sound to carry such patterns. They use light.
Today, our world is much more connected than ever before. Even people in third world countries, living in homes with earthen floors without electricity or running water, often have a mobile phone and/or television in their local community.
The human race has become a cloud of information, receivers of the ‘patterns and messages of life‘.
Our modern world is built on the patterns and messages received by light and sound.
It may not be what we envisaged when the prophecies were first received, but we have already ‘transcended into Light‘.
Instead of God destroying us because we have strayed too far, we have been provided with knowledge on a level that has not been seen since Eve bit the apple in the garden of Eden.
We have been given great tools to manifest our existence.
What we do with that knowledge, and how we manifest our world with it from this point, however, is up to us.
Our choices, our integrity, our attitudes and opinions shape the world we live in.
How we pass on information, how much remains truth or is colored by our dreams or fantasies, good or negative, is relative.
What we believe in and what we stand for matters more now than in any other time in the history of human existence. For we are manifesting ‘God’s Word‘ in our creations, from the vehicles of Light and Sound.
‘God’s Word‘ is simply pure information and knowledge. God’s inherent faith and trust in us is that we can be wise enough to use it well.
To use it well, we have to stop thinking of ourselves as individual pieces, and more as particles of creation energy in a cloud of existence.
The temple dog, also called the lion dog, is well known in the western world as a ‘fu dog‘ and its stylized form is called a snow lion in Tibet, where it is seen as the protector of Buddha.
This beautiful hand carved talisman, made from aloeswood, is said to bring protection, good luck, and the removal of woes and obstacles.
The Shi Tzu dog looks most like this brave and devoted mythical animal and we have always thought of our son’s dog, Muffy, as our own personal Pi Xiu – a guardian angel who fills our hearts with joy and encouragement, (she is the special darling of our adult disabled son., bringing constant light and love into his life).
You can never be afraid, sad, or lack courage when Muffy is around!
The celtic New Year begins with the festival of Samhain (pronounced ‘sow-wen’), also known as the ‘Feast of the Dead‘. The ancient Celts, Druids, Picts, and Vikings, believed that since in darkness we are born (from the womb) so is life renewed each year amid the season of darkness. (Samhain is celebrated at the half-way point between the autumnal equinox and the winter solstice).
In Australia, where I live, Samhain is celebrated in April. (It is celebrated very close to A.N.Z.A.C. day, which is interesting because that is also a time of remembrance and the honoring of our deceased defence force members). This is because celtic paganism does not follow a calendar for spiritual events but instead follows the seasons.
In the southern hemisphere, the seasons are opposite to those in the north. So Australian celtic pagans have their New Year, then, whereas northern hemisphere celtic pagans don’t have theirs until October 31.
(There are many non-pagan people in Australia who follow the American tradition of ‘trick or treat’ on this date, so we do answer the door to costumed children with bags to fill on that same October night, though Australians don’t celebrate with the gory exuberance Americans do).
The festival of Samhain (also known as Holy Eve, All Hallows Eve, and Halloween) is celebrated in much the same way as the ‘Day of the Dead‘ is in Mexico.
For celtic pagans, it is a time when the portal between our physical world of Earth and the ‘otherworld‘ (where spirit and the supernatural resides) is open – sort of like having an ‘open day‘ for visitors.
During this time, humans can interact with deceased relatives and friends, place plates of food for them at their table and drink toasts in their honor (as if they are still alive).
Like the ‘Day of the Dead‘ celebrated by christians in Mexico, it is a lovely day for expressing love and affection for those who are no longer able to be with us on a daily basis.
Even before christianity overrode celtic paganism and plied superstitions of ghouls and demons being out and about on Halloween, ancient celtic pagans acknowledged that when the portal between worlds was open, darker and mischievous entities could come visiting.
Celtic pagans don’t believe in ghouls and demons the way christians do, though.
The word ‘demon’ is derived from a word describing demi-gods (partial or lower realm gods) and the word ‘devil’ describes similar by referring to devas or devis(gods of the spiritual stream of Vedism, in Hindu culture).
There are no demons or devils in celtic pagan lore. There are only people, from our physical realm, or from the ‘otherworld‘, behaving badly.
So such warnings like the jack-o-lanterns and sigils carved in doors were basically ‘stay away if you can’t behave yourself’ signs. Any ghoul (or spirit ‘yobbo’) would be challenged if they wanted to cause mischief.
(The halloween pumpkin or jack-o-lantern, carved to become a candle holder to warn off unwelcome visitors at the front door, was once a carved turnip or swede in times of yore. They didn’t have pumpkins back then).
In celtic paganism, there was an acknowledgement that, even in the supernatural realm, people with bad character traits existed who you had to be careful dealing with.
On the night of Halloween, those people could be partying in your vicinity, and their parties could be of the ‘smash ’em up’ kind. (Mischief makers are not just human).
The ancient world was, however, an unsafe place, in general. Anyone who took a fancy to what you had could forcibly take it from you, if you weren’t careful to make sure you could defend it.
Often, such defence could mean the loss of your life, or of your loved ones lives. So it’s not surprising that when faced with supernatural entities who could cause trouble, people found a need for a different kind of protection.
It’s not surprising that they put out jack-o-lantern warnings, that they invented magical sigils, or asked their spiritual leaders for metaphysical methods to protect themselves, to thwart bad influences, and to ensure that their lives continued to thrive.
Nor is it surprising that they learned to pray for blessings and protection.
For ancient celtic pagans, the ‘otherworld‘ not only contained their deceased, but every type of supernatural entity, both good natured and bad.
It was only a small step to think that if the good natured entities lived in the same realm, they must have found a way to handle the bad natured entities. Therefore, calling upon their help was no different to calling on the help of anyone who has more skill handling a particular situation.
I am a great believer in the supernatural. My own experiences have come into direct contact with the supernatural and its entities throughout my life.
While I do believe in the basic ‘god essence of the cosmos‘ and its detached ‘in a dream‘ point of view, I also believe that what god ‘dreams‘ manifests as ‘reality‘ for us, and that what can be manifested does not just pertain to the physical level of existence we inhabit as human beings.
Therefore, I do believe in all manner of supernatural entities – ghosts, spirits, angels, demons, devas, and others.
For me, all manifestations are divine elements from the ‘mind of god,’ even supernatural ones. All manifestations are basically avatars enabling the ‘divine elements of god’ to experience relationships, of one kind or another.
That’s the bottom line for me. There is no ‘good’ or ‘bad‘ in that equation.
On the other hand, in the ‘pre-programmed laws and codes defining existence’, both in our world and in supernatural realms, all manifesting elements are given ‘in-built modes and mechanisms’ of expression.
If an ‘avatar of god‘ is in-built with certain modes of behavior and attitude, then they can express ‘good’ or ‘bad’ depending on their ‘purpose in the mind of god‘.
For me, what god thinks or dreams, manifests. (This is how I believe the coding is embedded).
As well, as a manifesting element of divine energy (albeit in human form), if I believe angels exist, then they exist. Then, whatever form I wish to see them in is the way they will manifest to me, and whatever powers I give to them, they will have for me.
You might say that this is a very powerful ability indeed, but it has its drawbacks. The drawbacks come from being incarnate in a human form, living a human life, and being embedded with the same ‘in-built modes and mechanisms of expression’ that other human beings are embedded with.
This means that my thoughts are not always as pure as they should be, that old conditioning from my earlier life on planet Earth is still hovering in the background, and that association with others and their less salubrious ideas still overshadows even my best intentions or alignments.
(That’s why ascetics do their best to overcome such weights, and to purify themselves of the past, so they can see the truth clearly).
In some ways, this ‘in-built mechanism‘ is a good thing. Imagine if a child thinks there are monsters under the bed. With the ability of their divine self, in thinking there are monsters under the bed, they could actually manifest them!
The mechanism of ‘clouding divine abilities‘ enables us to live a human life with less confusion.
(Ancient spiritual streams believed that only those who can accept and manage both good and bad, light and dark, equally and without fear should be free in their ability to manifest their thoughts).
During the festival of Samhain, I hang buddhist prayer flags in my yard, stringing them between my upper balcony and a tree in my garden, as well as on my front porch where people enter my house.
(Prayer flags are traditionally hung during the buddhist New Year, but since my New Year is celtic oriented, I hang mine then).
I follow a self-styled form of celtic paganism, including rituals aligned to neo-druidic modes, but because my spirituality is extremely eclectic so is my expression of it.
It therefore doesn’t matter to me that these prayer flags are tibetan or buddhist. (I am also buddhist in many of my spiritual modes). What matters is the feeling that the flags manifest in me. What matters is the concept of reaching out into the cosmos and asking for help where I am unable to help myself so effectively. What matters is what the flags symbolize.
By using such symbology (or rituals) to foster correct modes and feelings, I am able to override the embedded conditioning long enough to seed better elements in my life.
Like many others, I also often pray to god and my angels (supernatural helpers and mentors), asking for help, advice, and guidance.
This is not a denial of the ‘basic truths of existence‘ I have defined in the ‘seeder‘ god and the ‘illusions of reality‘. It is just an acknowledgement that I am incarnate in human form, beset by the conditions of ‘physical reality‘, and that sometimes in this ‘game of life‘ I don’t have everything I feel I need to ply it effectively.
When that happens, I call on those I think can help, in much the same way as others call on friends and relatives, mentors and patrons for opinions or assistance – only, via prayers and rituals, I am calling on my ‘supernatural peers‘.
People often find themselves uplifted when gathering en masse in churches, temples, or at other spiritual events. In those moments, the spiritual focus is intensified and miracles can happen. This is because, with so many elements gathered together focusing on the same thing, ‘god’s mind’ becomes more focused on that same mode.
You can think of that with an image of neurons firing in a brain. The most activity and thoughts occur where most of the neurons are firing. So, if you can think of human beings as being ‘divine neurons in god’s brain‘, then you can see how what those ‘neurons‘ are focusing on becomes a ‘center of activity in the mind of god‘.
Prayer is like that, too. Through prayer we call on the help of supernatural entities, like angels and guides (or the over god, itself. The over god or ‘oversoul’ is different to the ‘seeder’ god, but that’s another story).
With their assistance, more ‘divine neurons‘ are fired in the same area, and with that focus ‘miracles‘ can happen – e.g. things occur that don’t normally occur within the ‘coding‘ embedded in our physical realm.
Such beseechments don’t always work, just as asking for help from others in our human lives doesn’t always get us the help we need, or in the way we feel we need it.
Not getting the full help we need from others in our physical lives doesn’t stop us from capitalizing on it when it is available, though, even if we do have to ‘push on‘ and ‘do so much stuff by ourselves‘ until we get that relief and help.
Nor should any concept of ‘having to do it all by ourselves‘ stop us from reaching out to whatever help is available in the supernatural realm for us.
Just as our human friends and family don’t always know what needs we have, or won’t step in uninvited out of respect for our personal choices, so does the supernatural realm often behave.
We have to express a great desire for that help, either through the emission of misery and sense of loss, or through prayer. (I know which I would prefer to invite with).
After all, being a level detached from our physical realm, supernatural entities know very well that what happens to us here only pertains to us here.
After death, we are with them – still alive, still thriving, but in a different layer of existence. So of course, they will only respond to a direct request of some kind, or because their sympathy is aroused by our misery.
Samhain is not just about honoring the deceased. It is also about honoring the supernatural, and all the ‘invisible‘ help available to us.
It is a way to give thanks for the help we have received in the past, and to give respect to those who answered our prayers. In the ‘cosmic scheme of things‘, they didn’t have to.
As spiritual beings like them when we shed our ‘body coats‘, our problems and assails are proven to be only temporary (in the cosmic scheme of things). What brings them to our aid is their empathy and sympathy for our travails.
For me, they are my family and friends as much as any living being in the physical realm.
When I was a teenager, a lot was going on in my home life that left me super tired. I absolutely loved school and would head off each morning but was soon having trouble keeping my eyes open. So I began wagging afternoon classes to go home, where I would hide under my bed with a pillow and go to sleep.
(I hid under the bed so that, if anyone came home, they wouldn’t know I was there).
At the end of the school day, I would come out from under my bed, still in my uniform, and act as if I had just got home from school. This went on for a while, because the nightly events of domestic friction that lost me sleep continued for some time.
I felt guilty about missing so much school, though, so I went to enough classes to get by. I also attended tests and exams, and was so surprised that I passed with high scores. It seemed that I had got away with these ‘time out‘ periods until the regular parent/teacher interviews called my parents’ attention.
I felt even more guilty after that, because my teachers expressed disappointment in me. I had always been a good student and well mannered, but I had been missing so many classes throughout the year…
(I didn’t blame them. No one knew what was going on in my home life. I was too embarrassed to talk to anyone about what happened, there. I felt that people would think I came from a bad family, if they knew. I didn’t think my family was bad, just that it had lots of problems).
It was what my teachers added to their summations that was astonishing. They said that since I had passed all my exams with such high scores and with such little actual class attendance, they believed I was possibly a genius.
(No, I did not cheat on my exams, and my answers were usually very unique, which are hard to duplicate).
That assessment surprised me. My parents got a bit shocked, not only by the news that I had been wagging school but that I might be a genius. I think they actually felt confronted by that. (Hell, I felt confronted by it!) At home, when things went wrong, afterwards, more was expected from me because I ‘should have known better‘.
I didn’t really always know better, though. I may have been smart but I was still a kid. I was still learning about how the world worked. I was still processing information, not just about things but about people and life.
Once the word got out at school, I was ostracized and abused by some, or used by others who called me ‘Brain‘. I realized that (in the outer world, at least) I didn’t like being smart. I didn’t like feeling that I was the odd one out. So I dumbed myself down. I stopped interacting with my teachers so much. I stopped being the one to pipe up in class with answers. I even stopped contributing to the school magazine. I diverted my attention away from schooling.
I met my future husband when I was sixteen and that was the end of my childhood schooling. (I did go back, later, as a mature age student). I ran away and set up a new life with him because he gave me what I was missing, then – affection, love, and acceptance.
People asked me if I would ever go back. They shook their heads that so much potential was lost in me. They couldn’t believe that such a ‘bright spark‘ was now working as a ‘checkout chick‘ and had aligned herself to a mere apprentice television technician. They didn’t believe we would last as a couple. They thought we were a mis-match, and they thought I had wasted my skills and talents.
I was just happy to be living life as me, not as someone’s expectations of me. On a deep inner level, though, the teachers’ words found home. I actually liked being smart. I just didn’t like people picking on me or expecting me to be their ‘walking dictionary or encyclopedia‘ or ‘automatic answer to everything‘ just because they thought I was smarter than they were.
Long ago, I did some Mensa (high IQ) tests to see how smart I really was. While I’ve lost those scores, now, they were in the top IQ range, then – but an interesting thing happened over time and through the long processes of life – I redid a Mensa test in recent years and did not come off so well. Still intelligent, no longer high IQ level…
What happened? I never stopped using my brain. I’d always expressed it in one way or another. I’d been an artist, a writer, a dramatist – was it because my focus drew away from technical issues and became more creative? Yet I’d also been a business woman by then. I’d run my own theater group. I’d gone back to school and sat further exams. I’d earned myself diplomas. Surely, dealing with the technicalities of those modes kept using those parts of my brain?
It is said that the brain has an endless capacity to absorb information. On the other hand, most people have a limit to how much can be recalled. There’s not much use having knowledge stored if it isn’t accessible.
Maybe that is a way the brain prioritizes. Just as we archive information on computers, so that what isn’t absolutely necessary is not taking up too much energy, our brains archive old knowledge, which can get harder to find again as we get older or find ourselves under stress.
(When I started to forget things, my grand-daughter told me that I had a leaky brain. She said that my head was so full that there was no room left in it, so things had begun leaking out… ).
I believe that not being able to access the information in your head can also happen when life makes you tired. When you are dealing with mundane problems all the time, and especially draining ones, your brain can begin to shut down because of overload.
I’ve seen movies and read books where the theme of social deterioration was examined, like “Lord of the Flies.” People question how sensitive, kind, intelligent humans can become so bestial, gross, and lacking in forethought or decency.
I think it is because the brain is selective. Just as it does when archiving old knowledge, I believe it prioritizes the necessities. When we are in survival mode, the brain does not think about good manners and decency any more. It thinks about how best to make it through the challenging moments.
That’s why stories about normal, sane, intelligent people being put into highly challenging and dangerous situations, and having to fight for their lives, are so rife today.
In a society where intelligence has become an aspiration, where the ‘used to be nerds‘ are now heroes, and where even pre-school children are expected to develop advanced intelligence, it is confronting to realize that human nature overrides all the concepts that go with intelligence in any situation of survival. Instinct often seems to overrule intelligence in that state.
I’ve been through a lot of very challenging circumstances during the course of my life. These were emotional, physical, and fiscal, but not often intellectual. (Well, there were intellectual challenges, but I had a knack for dealing with them… It was the other modes that rattled me). They also came at me from many directions and in different ways, so it wasn’t like I could learn a method of coping and then relax.
While I have amassed quite a history of achievements, I am very aware of how much more I could have done if I had not felt so tired or drained by the personal circumstances I was in, sometimes.
It is not surprising to me at all to learn that highly intelligent people can become so depressed that they take their own lives. When emotion and energy gets so low, not even the most acute intelligence can break through to give them a boost.
One of the diplomas I earned was in method acting. Through that, I learned that people are not born to particular roles or modes in life but have many different potentials inside of them.
The premise of method acting is that roles are not different characters but are the same person who is being affected by different circumstances and challenges.
It seems. for instance, that if the same person is born into poverty and hardship in one life stream, and into wealth and ease in another, they will behave according to the circumstances they find themselves in, the environmental conditions surrounding them, and the physical, intellectual, and emotional stimulations upon them.
So, from that premise, there really is a point to make that character is not embedded but lies in how and where you are brought up, and how and where you enact your life thereafter.
Sometimes character, or the way you interact with the world, has nothing to do with any of these, though. In my family tree, there are members who have the brain disease of bipolarism (which used to be called manic depression).
My mother had episodes of bipolarism when I was a girl (it is not always a life long condition) and tried to kill herself a couple of times. (Shock therapy did make life smoother for her but also blanked out large chunks of her memory. I suppose that might help for someone who is troubled by their memories but it also took away good memories. She then became distant from those she had once loved).
I also have an aunt with this condition, who has talked me through the problems that arose from other affected family members.
Her doctor treats it as a life long disease and told her to think of it as though she has diabetes. That helped her to realize that her medication was not something that she could stop taking just because she was feeling better.
When affected by her bipolar disease, she did not behave badly because of behavioral or character traits. It was because there was an inherent physical condition of chemical imbalance in her brain, that triggered errant words and actions.
Therapy does not help people with bipolar disease because the problem is physical not mental.
People with the disease can talk to a therapist and see the truth and validity of every therapeutic suggestion, and may try to enact this advice in their lives, but when the chemical imbalance trips off they can’t stop themselves behaving weirdly because they need medication to remedy that imbalance.
My aunt told me that she can remember every time she thought or said or did weird things quite clearly. During those phases, it was like her body and actions were driven by some outside force that she had no control over. She could see and hear what she was saying and doing. She just couldn’t stop herself.
Apparently, certain life phases trigger bipolarism in susceptible people. Those are usually puberty, or during other highly hormonal stages such as pregnancy and after childbirth, and also during highly stressful life conditions such as unemployment, fiscal destitution, or difficult and ongoing emotional wranglings.
My grandfather (my mother’s father) had his bipolar phases triggered during an era when ‘mad‘ people were sent to institutions, so when he had psychotic phases (which can be part of bipolar disease) and began hurting his wife and children after his long search for employment failed (it was a time when there were no social services or government handouts, and his farm had become non-profitable), he was put into an asylum.
(That’s when my Nanna moved on with her life and became a single mother. People didn’t know that much about ‘madness’ then and many thought it was for life).
I watched a documentary about the human brain and bipolar disease some time ago. There have been many famous people in history who had it, yet they also had highly productive or creative lives. You can live a fairly normal life either side of bipolar episodes, apparently.
What struck me, though, was that scientists believe that people with such conditions of ‘madness‘ also have the ‘genius‘ gene.
Most people with bipolar disease are extremely intelligent but also extremely sensitive in their perceptions, (which is what eventually brings them down).
Apparently, this all stems from a genetic condition, and the people who have it ‘sit on the fence‘ between ‘madness‘ and ‘genius‘ until something comes along to push them to one side or the other.
So I’m no longer investing in the idea of being a genius. With my family history, I’d rather be ordinary.
I also no longer fret so much about taking after my ‘starcrossed‘ relatives, since I realized that with all I have been through in my life, if I had the disease it would well and truly have triggered off by now… (So, those who still call me ‘bonkers’, take note).
My son got ‘acquired brain injury‘ (ABI) after his head bounced on the asphalt a few times after being hit by a van as he ran across a busy road at age 13. That was how I discovered that the human brain is a relatively unknown continent, even today.
They used to say that brain cells never regenerate, that when you lose them they are gone forever. That’s why conditions like Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s are so frightening.
At least now science has begun to admit its lack of understanding of how the human brain works. I mean, there is much that is known, but also much, much more that remains unknown. That’s why coma patients who have been asleep for decades can sometimes wake up, long after the doctors gave up on them completely.
It’s just as well that we never gave up on our son, as a major neurologist did at the time. He told me that my son would most likely be a ‘vegetable‘ and remain in a coma for the rest of his life.
Admittedly, I enacted some powerful healing elements of my own, after that, including spiritual and metaphysical modes, and perhaps those actions got my son back on track… but, while the results were nothing short of miraculous, I still wonder why he wasn’t completely healed and hope that, deep inside his brain, slow healing work is still going on.
It’s been over 20 years since his accident and his condition is now stable in disability, so even the smallest change is something to be grateful for.
Today, he lives a fairly normal life and has children of his own, but needs constant supervision.
Having been his carer for so long, I’ve studied as much about the brain as I could to give me insight into what can be done. His brain is affected like that of an Alzheimer’s patient, in that cells have died and pathways have become dead ends. It’s like swiss cheese with holes in it – many thoughts get through perfectly okay, some fall into the holes and get totally lost.
In the end, there’s not much that a lay person like myself can do. I have to wait for scientists and medical researchers to come up with solutions, and time is against anything changing for my son.
I may get hopeful when I read of new results, like how they can now get rats with severed spinal cords to walk again, but these are not humans and they are not to do with brains. My son’s nerve endings work very well. They just lost their connections in the brain, so certain muscle systems no longer work well.
It is frustrating when some people think I don’t care any more because I’ve run out of energy to keep doing high doses of therapy with him every day.
They tell me that there are things that can be done, but they expect me to do them all. They tell me that I need to up the ante, but I am already dealing with a multitude of other tasks and I cannot focus solely on my son any more.
I still give him healing, sometimes, and it improves his moods and clears his thinking but there is little change in his physical paralysis, his inability to speak without blocking, or his short term memory problems.
What has helped him the most in life has been the lesson of spirituality.
When people pick on him or are too impatient to try to understand his condition, he has been able to shrug that off and forgive them.
When his marriage broke up and he no longer saw his daughters every day, he was able to put that into the perspective of his immortal spiritual self, with his physical life being just a phase in it’s eternal one.
When he got depressed about being lonely or missing his daughters, even though other family are still around him, he used the same references to touch his soul and rise up from the mire that would bog him down.
No matter the physical problems that assail him, he manages to smile and engage in life with the fullness of his being.
For me, that is truly living.
Spirit has always been the key for me, too, in overriding the ‘bog down’ elements of life. This mode is encapsulated in the metaphor of the lotus lily plant (we use a blue lotus lily flower in our business logo).
In vedic spirituality and buddhism, there is a great focus on the lotus as a flower embodying spirit and transcendence.
The lotus plant is embedded in the mud beneath the water, representing how our roots are embedded in physical life with all its problems. Its leaves float broadly on the surface of the water to soak in the sunlight, representing the energy we can achieve from accepting our emotional state as just being part of the human condition. Its flower buds rise up on long stalks above the mud, the water, and all else, to open their delicate beauty for divinity to rest upon.
(If you look at statues or pictures of buddhist and vedic gods and goddesses, they often sit on lotus lilies).
For in these spiritual streams, it is believed that by transcending the worldly ‘bogs‘, and our reactions to physical life, we become more than we are as just human beings, and reconnect with the divine.
While my first touch with spirit came through psychic feelings and manifestations as a child, I explored much further by dedicated choice and found many helpful modes to rise above the physical condition.
There are certain modes that can be instilled through spirit that seem to overcome the limitations of the brain. For instance, I can realign myself in spirit when I am tired and clear my thoughts to enable great focus.
This is not a choice or a mental viewpoint, it is a realignment of the spiritual self by realizing that spirit is actually unaffected by the physical condition, that spirit is the rider within the vehicle of my physical form, and that being tired is just a sensory condition affecting my body and its brain, not my true spirit self.
It’s easy to forget these modes in the course of daily human life. Even though I know these modes, I often forget them as I ply my life. That is just the physical realm asserting itself.
The physical world that forms our mortal destiny has many programmed laws that shape every sensation and reaction. So I am often assailed by one ailment or another, and so is my husband, as we grow older.
These are the modes of the physical realm, that has many challenges embedded into it as par for the course. Even buddha got old and ill and died at the end of his incarnation. Being spirit or spiritual does not bring full escape from the laws that come with life, nor should it.
(For me, there is a reason why I chose to incarnate in a physical body, and overcoming all the natural problems that are embedded with life by using such overrides may wreck my original intentions).
Even as I know these modes, though, the laws that shape my thoughts and body caused me to doubt when I was inspired to try something out, recently.
My arthritis was so bad that I was aching and hobbling around, just waiting for the phase to pass, which it wasn’t doing too quickly. My husband was in much the same shape, and his posture looked as if the world was sitting on his shoulders.
Such inspiration comes on me, occasionally, so I just stood in stillness for a moment and realigned my spirit. (This is something that many people do amid deep meditation but I find that it is possible to connect anywhere, at any time, so long as you know what you are doing).
So I stopped amid my hobbling pace, stood on my aching feet and ‘adjusted‘ myself. I found that quiet center of peace and energy, deep inside, and remembered ‘who I really was‘ and that my body was the vehicle I was driving, not vice versa… Then I stepped forward again. I felt graceful. I moved gently and without pain. It was as if my body had remembered how to move in a way to avoid pain, (or maybe it was me remembering that I was the driver). The pain was still there but just niggling, not inflamed.
I decided to try it on my husband, (who has carried with me through many years of spiritual education. So it didn’t take much for him to understand what I asked of him). He stood up, looking old and bowed, and as I watched I could see him find his center, remember who he, too, was, and realign. Or so I thought. It actually took a little longer for him than it did for me. The first time he tried to walk, his shoulders were thrown back and he forced a strut. I said, “No, that’s not it. You haven’t done it yet.”
(When you have it, it’s a visible serenity).
I left him to it, wondering if he was going to be able to do as I had done, but only moments later he entered the room I’d gone to, smoothly striding like a young man with a glow in his eyes. His ‘chooky‘ neck had disappeared, his stoop had gone and he walked straight and sure, with smooth relaxation. I said, “You did it!”
(He suddenly looked much younger).
Was this our brains, thinking ourselves into a new mode, or was this the spiritual alignment I believed it was? That’s the doubt I had, for a moment.
(Such doubts for me are always passing. I am always a believer).
To be honest, the realignment did not last all night and we had to keep reminding ourselves – (and our son is also still disabled) – but that’s what you get for being incarnate in a physical realm. It will keep reasserting itself!
So if life makes you feel so tired that your brain doesn’t seem to be working, try realigning your spirit. Even if, (like us), you have to keep making adjustments, it’s better than giving in to the physical world completely. (I’m not saying don’t be alive in the physical realm. I’m just saying you don’t have to let it get to you…)
I’ve often noticed something amazing about those who are aligned in spirit. Despite the fact that their physical bodies get old, they do not look so old. Despite the problems of life that naturally afflict them, too, they do not look afflicted. Instead, what is immediately noticeable is their ‘glow‘ – an emanation of their life force in the fullness of its being, that you cannot miss as being ‘truly alive‘.
When we allow the assaults that come from the high challenges of physical life to affect our spirit, we get lost in the physical condition. This causes us to look older than we are, to become frailer, and to be more affected by our bodily conditions. When that happens, our brains go into overload mode and we begin to forget things, too.
Despite the bombardment that may come from the challenges of life, we can choose to align ourselves differently. That is what having a brain does for us. Even as we can’t change some things that happen to our physical condition in the world, we can select what attitudes we take toward them.